Yes. I am still here. 

I know I haven’t posted anything in awhile. This year has been very difficult for I and my family. However I’m getting things rolling again. I’m going to focus more on marketing. Because I haven’t done any of that almost all year. Except pass around a few cards. I finished The Ashes of Amour months ago. I’m going to try to format it. Because honestly I don’t have the money to hire anyone which sucks but oh well.

I’m probably going to publish it next month even though I want to do it now. But I really want to get a nice cover and not just make one myself. I’ve already started on the third book and I’m into it really well. I’m very proud of myself and excited about this series. I’m also excited about my other series I’m writing. Honestly it might sound selfish but I have wonderful stories and very entertaining ones. I do wish I could write better though. I know with dyslexia and dysgraphia and not so great education. I’m not the greatest writer but I’m learning every day. And someday I’ll be able to for tutoring.

This year wasn’t very good but I’m very grateful for all the friends who were by my side during difficult times. I’ve lost some things in this year and that’s okay it’s better that way. Next year I’m focusing on working out more. I’ve been working out well this year but I’m going to do more soon. Because I just want a healthy life and a healthy body. And even though I’ve lost weight and feel better. I could be doing so much better I’m still very lazy and don’t push myself enough.

I want to release more books next year. I just have to make sure I don’t let anything distract me.

One of my biggest flaws is being negative and self-doubt. And letting myself be distracted by things. I’m just going to do me and focus on being healthy and writing. Even though honestly I wish I certain things others do, like a relationship. But I know that would just distract me.

This month I’ve been lazier than any other. Mostly due to anxiety and how busy I am at other job. Even when I want to do something like hang out with people or go somewhere my anxiety drains me so badly. That I don’t want to do anything and I get these body aches and headaches. Thinking about maybe taking anxiety medicine but I’m not sure.

I’m very grateful for all the things that I have right now. My father got a job and even though we’re still struggling things are good and better. I have a lot of worries and anxieties and stresses. But I’m doing well at staying positive. I know I’m not where I want to be, I’m not even close. But I’m writing and I will publish more. And I’m studying for a Doggy Daycare business. Plus I’ve been working out more. I know what I want and going forward even though sometimes the what ifs make me sad.

Somedays are difficult and I just want to stay in bed. But I allow myself to cry or feel sad and hopeless. But I make sure I lift myself up after that and tell myself I can do it and I will make it. Even though no one knows about me or my writing. Someday I’ll be a bestseller, people will know my books. Will enjoy my stories and hopefully see them on the big screen someday. And I’ll have the biggest best Doggie Daycare in all of Texas too. All I can do is believe that so it’ll keep me going.

I know I don’t know what’s going to happen and I need to stop worrying about that. But it’s scary. But I’m just trying to focus on writing and having a healthier life. Laziness is definitely a hard habit to break but I know I’m the only one who can make myself do anything.

I can’t wait to publish The Ashes of Amour. And finish the third book. I’m extremely proud of myself. Sometimes I can’t even believe I actually wrote a book. It’s a good feeling but I have to remind myself of.

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