The Ashes of Amour!

I had just wrote a whole blog and it deleted it. Talk about extremely annoying. So this one’s going to be probably shorter. Anyway I got the proof of my book in which is a paperback book. So we’re currently editing it. Well looking through it to edit it. Then we’ll have to wait another week for it to come in again to check it to make sure it’s good. Once that’s finished I can order about 30 books or more to sell for my hand. People can also purchase it from Amazon or CreateSpace.

I am excited. This novel is definitely beautiful. I love my first novel also. Except the formatting is not very professional and I’m trying to fix it but it’s been very difficult. My second novel The formatting is so much better and beautiful. Very professional even though I did it myself.

I use the same cover artist she does great work. It’s actually pre-made covers but still very good. The book looks really professional. Even with my dysgraphia and dyslexia which makes me mess up with writing it’s very good. But I learn everyday and I get better every day. You have to start somewhere. And I’m not going to give up because I have disabilities or I don’t have the money to get real editors.

I think we did a fantastic job. And as any Riders I have doubt of course. And I know when I put it for sale not many will buy it. But some will and I’ll remember those. I know being a self-publisher that isn’t known can be really difficult. I’ll be spending more money then I’ll be making. But it’s worth it. I love writing and it makes me extremely happy. And someday I’ll be known.

I have new business cards and I definitely love them. So for three people asked for them so they can give them out or leave them at shops are on cards. It makes me sad that so few people asked. But I know that’s how it’s going to be. The first thing you need to learn about self-publishing as that most family and friends don’t give a damn. You’re going to have to do it almost all by yourself. The marketing and everything.

Yet the moment I become a best seller and start making money they’re going to pretend that they’ve always been there for me. But I’m not dumb and I remember who’s actually there for me. Anyway I’m really excited about my novel coming out. I really bad anxiety though.

Anxiety and low self-esteem creates such doubt period that people will hate my writing. But I also know I have to accept that there will be people who don’t like my books are my stories. That’s totally understandable because there some novels I don’t like. Anxiety holds me back so badly like I’m constantly so aware of my I have my issues period in public I get so tensed up and stiff. Especially at work. And I get a frayed to bring my book places are my marketing product places. But I know I have to stop being scared and stop letting anxiety hold me back. My anxiety will be ruin of me. I’m the only one who will be make me into someone.

I get scared of doing things so I don’t and I make excuses. But in the end it’s just anxiety and fear of rejection. or looking dumb.

I can either let it keep holding me back and destroying my life. Or push past the uncomfortableness and fear and help myself. But it’s up to me to make me into somebody. I can either do nothing and be nobody or be all that I dream.

I’m also trying to be more physically fit and I’m doing better. Also trying to eat better which is a bit harder. But I’m trying to be physically and mentally healthy. Because it’s the only way I’ll be successful in writing and owning a doggie daycare business. Only I holding myself back. I have to stop.

I’m very excited about my novels and reading them. I cannot wait till I get home. And I hope that it soon! Because I really really want my dream.

2 thoughts on “The Ashes of Amour!

  1. I would love to have some cards to put in Bryan and College Station Tx. Address is p.o. box 418 Snook. Tx.,77878. Jackie Spikes

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