Putting a plan together for my book release.

*Apologies any mess-ups. I did this by voice to text.*

I’m almost done going through my novel A Way Home. Doing my own little editing. Which isn’t the best editing since I’m not very good at that. But, I’ve come a long way. Being dyslexic and having dysgraphia makes things difficult but not impossible. Someday I hope I’m able to earn enough so I can get tutoring. This time I want to actually get a editor and someone to format my novel.

I know this means I’m not going to be making any money on this novel. But my first two novels even though they’re good. It’s obvious I didn’t have a real editor. And though I have good reviews now because family and friends I know eventually I’ll get bad ones about bad grammar and stuff like that. I want to look more professional. Even if it cost me. It’ll all be worth it when I’m successful. Hopefully it’s sooner than later.

I’m also going to do some fun book promotions. Like, the first five people to buy my novel will get a free mug. I want to do more. It’s already going to be expensive though. I’m trying to get people to want to help support me better. It’s so difficult already. No one ever tells you going into self-publishing or drawing or anything creative means that your family and friends really don’t care. Not saying that all of them don’t. But in the end you practically have to beg a lot of them to support you.

I want to somehow get more. But I want to get them without having to pay people or something. I was thinking maybe if people give me reviews I can give them a little special gift. But I don’t want that to look like I’m paying them. That’s so difficult. People will read the book and say that they enjoyed it. But I practically have to Guilt Trip them for review. Some people say oh they just don’t have time. And I’m thinking but you have time to post random memes on Facebook or post drama or something on Facebook. But you don’t have 5 minutes to go on Amazon or Goodreads to leave a to two-sentence review?

I’m not trying to be harsh or mean. But that’s the reality of self-publishing or being an artist. I’m grateful for those who take the time and actually leave reviews. So I’m trying to figure out how I can promote people to leave me reviews. Anyway I’m going to do some giveaways too. I’m really excited about this novel. I’ve been coming up of many story ideas. I just have to write them down.

My problem is I’ll come up with a story and obsessed with it for weeks and I’ll write some of it down. Then I’ll fade away and I’ll go to another idea and do the same thing and repeat. It’s a really a bad habit. because I have so many good story ideas. But I just get bored. Not that the story is boring or anything. I just can’t focus. I have really bad attention problems. But I know if I just sit myself down and forcing myself to…

So try to look in to find a therapist to go to. Talk about my stresses and anxieties. I feel so just exhausted and tired all the time. I have to force myself to write or workout. And I know that’s probably depression too. It’s difficult when I have dealt with it for my whole life. My full-time job can be very stressful too. But I’m constantly reminding myself it’s not forever. It’s a stepping stone to a better future. I just have to keep writing. But I also need to start studying for my doggie daycare future too. That’s something I’m very depending on. I know I can do it. I have to do it. Just have to believe and try.

Losing weight has been so difficult. Haven’t gained any weight in a while. So I’m happy about that. But it seems like it’s impossible to lose the last 30 lbs. I’m seriously considering liposuction. I don’t think anyone should be ashamed I plastic surgery. Especially when they’re trying so hard and getting no results. I know stress is what’s making it very difficult to. But I highly doubt I’ll be able to escape that.

But, I know it will take a while. But if I keep trying to put myself out there and if I do a better job of promoting then people will notice me. It’s just constant doubt my anxieties that hold me back. And I hate it. It’s not fair that people who deal with abuse, when it’s not their fault, they’re the ones who have to suffer for the rest of their lives. Because of some awful people. Because their brains have been damaged. But I try each day. I’m only 26 but I feel like I should be somewhere else. More successful. And I know I shouldn’t put that pressure on me or expectations. But, damn I really wish I had more.

I’m grateful for all I have. And I’m glad I have a stable job. Even if it’s stressful. I’m glad I have a working vehicle in a house. And my family. I know it could be way worse. But what I also know is that it could be better. And I’m aiming for better. I’m not going to settle for this. I don’t need to be a billionaire Or have a mansion. But what I want, is to be able to go to the doctor, buy groceries, get gas, and still be able to do something entertaining. I don’t want to live paycheck-to-paycheck anymore. Constantly fearing something terrible happened and not being able to afford it.

Like I said I’m happy I have the stuff I do in my life. But, I’m not going to settle for this when I know I deserve better. When my family deserves better. I want to be a successful author because it makes me Happy. I want to own my own doggie day care because it makes me happy. I will do these. I must. I will keep trying.

My books at the local Museum.

So, the local Museum in Madisonville Texas contacted me. They wanted to do a local author display exhibit. They asked me and others who are local to help. So two of my books or in their exhibit. Since those are the only ones I have published at the moment. I’m super excited about it! It’s just a small thing in a small town. But it’s a start! Baby steps. Leading to something more. You know like New York Times bestseller!

Check it out!

http://m.madisonvillemeteor.com/lifestyles/article_6cdc0668-be78-11e7-a84b-03f22d22e7ce.html?mode=jqm

Update!

Apologies for not updating often. I know I need to. Apparently updating your website often is a good thing for you. Those since I have such a small fan base I don’t know if they even know about this website. But I should updated it more.

Anyway I am finished writing A Way Home. I haven’t started editing it yet. Because I’ve been thinking about the third book for my Amour serious. Which I finally figured out today. I already had the story and the ending. However some of the middle parts I wasn’t sure about. But I finally got it all together. And I’m going to start writing on it. I already have a few paragraphs. I’m going to start editing A Way Home now. I’m hoping to get that out within a month.

I’m super excited about this. Because life is very stressful and it just got even more difficult. I wish I didn’t have to go through this stress. People should never have to be put through this. It’s ridiculous. But I know someday it won’t matter. Because I’ll be above this and I’ll be doing what I love. I just have to stick with it and just try to stay strong. Even though it’s really difficult. I just want to scream most the time.

anyway the museum in the town that I live in is doing a showcase on local Authors. And they asked me if I would be in it. Of course I said yes! I know it’s small and just a small town. But it’s a start and some kind of exposure and I’m excited! I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much. But it’s definitely good. I wish I could give them more cards. It’s going to be up by Wednesday but I won’t be able to see it probably till another week. Because my work schedule. But I’m very excited. He’s starting a small town and then end up as a New York Times best seller! I just hope sooner than later.

Because I’m really stressed out right now. And my anxiety is really bad. I’m trying really hard not to let it get me down but it’s very difficult. I’m also having trouble with weight loss. But I’m trying to stay positive. I need to start going to town to pass out my cards more. But that’s the update for now!

Almost finished with A Way Home! Small update.

Small update on things…

I’ve been writing a lot on my new novel A Way Home. I know I should be writing on the last book of the Amour series but I am taking a break from it so that I can focus on a different book. I’ve actually been doing really well at staying focused on writing. Even if it’s not the greatest writing. But a bad page is always better then a blank page. I’m also hoping I can actually afford an real editor this time.

I really hope for that. I definitely like the novel. Every now and then I start to hate it. But when you write on something every single day and you know the story just every part of it. It gets blah sometimes. Which is totally fine. It’s going to be needing a really really good editing though. But I know I can do that too. I’m really excited about it. It’s a horror novel but more of a suspense thriller. And of course the main character has her name with A as the first letter. Not sure why I’m so obsessed with naming my main characters with the letter A. But whatever.

I still haven’t done much with marketing and advertising. And I know I’m dumb for that. I’m going to go to town soon to talk to the bank about something. So I’m going to go to the bookstores to and put my cards around. Hopefully by then I’ll get the bookmarks I ordered to come in. Though I don’t want to give too many of those away. I need to order more marketing material though.

I’ve been really lazy about marketing my book. Especially online. But it’s very difficult online to do that. A lot of websites call for a lot of things which one knowing. But I know I need to do better. Stop the excuses. I slack too much because of my anxiety and it holds me back. But I have a small plan and that’s better than anything. I just have to keep writing. Just have to stop letting me hold me back.

I have many ideas and stories to focus on. Though it’s difficult just to focus on one. And I have so many I want to write but I don’t even know where to start. Or some are so complex. Mostly all of them are fantasy and sci-fi. I have so many stories in my head that I feel so overwhelmed sometimes. It’s so hard to explain, it’s like there’s so many people trapped inside me, like I’m going to explode.

I just hope all this is all worth it. Because I’m tired of the same cycle every single day. I’m grateful for all I have but I know I’m meant for more. And I’m so terrified I’m just going to be nothing and stay on the same path that’s not satisfying in any way. Like I said I’m happy for what I have now. But I want so much more. I just need to focus on believing that I will become a successful Author. And also a business owner 🙂

A Way Home.

I am working on a new novel. Well I have been for awhile now. I am almost done. But, of course it will need a lot of editing. I mean a lot… but I love it! Sometimes I hate it but that is because when you work on something for so long you just go crazy. But, I do love it. I am trying to write on a few other books too. It is harder to do the series books. Not sure why though… But, hoping to finish something else soon. I need to stay focused on writing more. I know nothing big is happening for me right now with my writing and it probably wont for a long time. I am trying to stay hopeful though. Maybe those who say they will help spread the word about me will. I can only hope right? Though I need to stop being lazy and get my butt into the city and hand out my cards and posters. I need more marketing products though. I need a better marketing plan actually. But, if I wrote a nice tween-novel I bet I could go big quick. Yet every time I try to write a teen novel it gets very rated R. Sigh… I must keep trying though! Here is my picture I made for my new novel A Way Home.

A WAY HOME-

“Alice’s world is dying. In an attempt to save it she must enter mysterious worlds. Worlds where she hopes to find answers or a new home. Protecting her family is all she dreams of; but doubt and fear grows in her heart with each new, rotting world. Is there ever an end to the chaos? Will the secrets of a lost past bring clarity or only more pain? Will Alice ever find a new home and safety for those she loves, or will she fade away with the rest?”

nature-person-hands-girl-large

Making plans.

Messing around with my website trying to make it look better. I know a prettier website would help. Also thinking about a email list but I hardly have fans right now. So, maybe later. Looking at more and better ways to market my books. Looking into trailers now… need to make more picture previews too. I’ve been pretty lazy recently with marketing and it is not good.

I have been writing every night though. On my novel A Way Home. Which is great. Even though it is a very rough daft. I just wish I could do this all the time. I am grateful for my job I have. I just wish I could make money on my writing now so it can be all I focus on. That would be very nice. I am twenty-six now and I know dreams don’t come true over night. Yet, I so wish they did. I am tired. I just want my dream career. And most of the time my head is filled with doubts and fears. Of being stuck and trap.

I am trying to focus on working out more and writing more. I have many ideas I want to do. Just trying to focus on one at least. If I was not so tired all of the time this would be easier. But, only I can make my dream happen. So, here I am doing that. Or at least trying. Wish things were easier but nope that is not life. I am happy for the reviews I got on my amazon page for my books. I wish I could get more. But, I am done begging. I’ll remember those I did not have to beg. Heh. But, I have to do more marketing. That is my fault I have not. Sigh…

Okay good things here I come.

Trying to write more!

I have not been writing as much as I want to. But, I am trying to pick it back up. I have not been writing much on my third novel in the Amour series. But, that is because I have been trying hard to finish my novel ‘A Way Home’ I am half way done with it. It will need a lot of editing though. It is very rough. I want to finish something else too. I write every so often on other things but not enough. I have no motivation or will power in the morning or evening to do anything. And it is really annoying. I have want to write in the evening and I do but not enough.

I need to start writing more. No excuses. I am tired a lot though. I had nine days off this week and I hardly have wrote anything. I feel bad about it but cannot change it. Today I am going to try to write a lot. I also have to work out and cut some wire. Why do I have no will in the day? It is getting on my nerves. I also have so much I wanna write on too. In the end I am in my head WAY TO MUCH. And it is bad. Life is a struggle right now… but I am trying to make it better. I wish my dream career would come now. If all I had was to focus on it then I would write more. Someday. I just have to keep trying and believing.
I’ve been down in the dumps lately but trying to come above it.

I have been planning on going around town to give out cards and put my posters in places. I need to do it now and stop wasting stop and avoiding it. Been to lazy and it is not good. I am 26 now and need to kick myself into gear. I need to get my name out there! Some family and friends are helping but most do not care. Yet moment I become a best-seller they’ll be running to me… Oh I will not forget.

heh! Anyways I am so happy for those who do take the time and help in anyway!

embers

Finally got my third books story.

I had started writing my third novel for my Amour series until I got ole writers block. Then I stopped writing and started focusing on a different novel. Which I have been doing well on writing. But few days ago at work I started thinking of my third novel. All day long and I finally got the whole story! I changed it some but love it.

Started writing on it. So far few pages in… still suffering from writer’s block. But, I have been pretty stressed and my aniexty is bad. I hate it. Trying to workout more but I am so exhausted everyday. I know it is not an excuse but dang my motivation is so low… I hate it.

But I have to force myself because if I don’t I’ll be this lazy loser for life. I just want to be who I see in my head. And if I keep holding myself back I will never become it.

My fixed cards and flyers came in!

Snapchat-1082040810.jpg

The picture is dark but the flyers are awesome!!! Bigger than I expected though! Hoping to pass them around. When I go to town again I’m going to put them on billboards. I really want to get the word out about my books. I just want this to be my career now. So badly. I know that it’s very rare that you can make it into a career immediately. But it does happen. I’ve seen it happen overnight sometimes. I absolutely love them going to try to give them to some people who lie she will give them out. I also need to make sure I write today. My niece is over here. But I need to make time to write. I haven’t wrote all week. Got a little writer’s block but I need to clear that up.

I haven’t wrote anything on my third book for my Amour series. Due to writer’s block. But I’ve been writing another book and I’ve been doing well on it though. But I know I need to write more. I need to do better. Just hoping more people will look into my books. Badly.

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