Chrysanthemum
I was only a couple of months old when Chrysanthemum came out. Just a bald, cranky baby who didn’t even know she existed. As I grew and learned my name, I realized it was different. So different that sometimes I wondered whether my parents even liked me when they chose it.
As a kid, I didn’t understand that names should not be mocked or judged. I was also dealing with an undiagnosed learning disability that made reading and writing hard. Growing up in a poor Louisiana school did not help. Instead of receiving support, I often felt pushed aside. It hurt to be in second grade unable to spell, or even pronounce, my own name.
I felt embarrassed and wished I had something simpler. The small things made it worse. My siblings found pencils and rulers with their names on them. I never could. Mine were always “princess” or “baby girl.” Cute, but not my name. I already felt different because of my learning struggles. Having an unusual name made the feeling stronger.
My parents were not thinking like children when they named me. They believed names do not define worth, and that people who judge are the real problem. I did not understand that yet. Mostly I felt alone and confused.
Then I found Chrysanthemum. I do not remember if we bought it or borrowed it from the library. I do remember my mom reading it to me and me lighting up. The colorful pictures, the little mouse, the long beautiful name she learned to love. It felt like someone finally understood.
“The children’s book Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes is about a young mouse who loves her unique name until she starts school and is teased by classmates, causing her self-esteem to wilt, but her confidence is restored with help from her supportive parents and a kind music teacher, Mrs. Twinkle, who shares her own flower-related name, teaching themes of individuality, bullying, and self-acceptance.”
When I felt down, I reread the book. or just looked at the pictures and smiled as the tiny little mouse slowly became happy. I watched Chrysanthemum go from embarrassed to proud. I started practicing my own name the same way she did, writing it everywhere until it stopped feeling scary.
Unlike Chrysanthemum, kids did not really tease me about my name. I was lucky. I don’t even think they noticed it was different. In fact, there a was a lot of kids in my class that had different names. But, I never noticed, nor laughed at them. Just as they never laughed at me. However, as a child you don’t notice these things, just what is different about you and your own fear of it.
My name wasn’t just my only issue. My real struggle was that I could not read, spell, or say things easily. Even in third grade I could hardly read and it hurt. Later I would learn that I have dyslexia and dysgraphia. Something that should have been found when I first started school. However, when you grow up in a poor state which a poor school, those who are different, tend to get left behind. It’s sad but the hard truth. I was left behind in so many ways, but that is a whole other story.
The book helped me separate my learning challenges from my identity. It helped me see that my name was not the problem. Every time I opened Chrysanthemum, I felt my confidence grow. My fear of my long, different name, slowly go away. Chrysanthemum had been so excited for school, until she realized she was different. And it had been the same for me when I started school. I was so excited until I realized I was different. It hit me hard and a new fear gripped me so tightly. And even though I did not gain as much confidence as chrysanthemum, I did slowly start to feel more brave. Because of this little mouse, in a silly picture book.
Over time, I realized my name made people smile. Yes, I still hear, “Did your parents name you after the casino?” I still roll my eyes. My name comes from a Native American tribe, and that matters to me. I do my best to ignore the comment, and then educate the person on my name.
That little book gave me confidence. It did not fix everything. It helped me stop hating my name and start owning it. Without Chrysanthemum, I am not sure I would have felt that shift. It did help me grow in so many ways, and because of that, this picture book will always have a place in my heart.
Do I sometimes think name choices today go a bit too far? Honestly yes. I worry about how hard that might be for kids. Then I remember my own childhood. My name became something I grew into, not away from. Chrysanthemum taught me that being different can be beautiful. It encouraged me to keep trying, to spell my name, and to be proud of it.
Books do that. They build courage, empathy, and confidence. They pull you into worlds that make real life easier to face. I do admit, it is sad that a lot of children these days do not read books. And I understand that it is the parents fault. I don’t understand how parents don’t read to their children or even try to encourage reading. Books open you to beautiful worlds that can build courage and bravery, or just a smile on your face. If you’re a parent, please read to your child. You don’t have to be a bookworm, but reading is such a powerful thing.
If you are a kid, a parent, or an adult who still loves picture books, read Chrysanthemum. It is simple, sweet, and surprisingly powerful. It was for me.
I will post a link below to the book. (I do not get money from this link)
Find my book here!
“Souille is a riveting novella that artfully blends elements of horror and science fiction to craft a high-stakes adventure that will keep readers on the edge of their seats. When Natalie’s life is thrown into chaos after a terrible hurricane leaves her hometown in ruins, she’s thrust into a deadly face-off against strange and malicious entities in her desperate struggle for survival.”
Coushatta LaRue 
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